Hazel and Grey
by silver-nightstorm
Summary: Her eyes were hazel. He'd never seen a pair of eyes exactly the same color of hers. They had a calm kindness to them that was completely unique and purely her. Character death.


_Her eyes were hazel. He'd never seen a pair of eyes exactly the same color of hers. They had a calm kindness to them that was completely unique and purely her. _

**Hazel and Grey**

**By silver-nightstorm**

**Words: 2092**

**XX**

He gripped the edge of the sink with pale and trembling hands, his bloodshot eyes staring at him from under an oily fringe of blond hair. He tried to steady himself but his body continued to quail and he collapsed to the tiled ground of the deserted bathroom.

"Malfoys do not cry," hissed Draco, rubbing at his eyes and trying to stop the moisture from returning. A gasp behind him caused him to spin around.

A girl stood behind him, her eyes wide open in shock. If it wasn't for the fact her red hair was in a braid, he could have sworn she was Ginny Weasley. On closer inspection, he realized that she was prettier than the Weaslette could ever be.

She stepped forwards, hesitantly at first but with slowly growing confidence. He tried to shrink away from her but her gentle hands were soon coaxing him up off of the floor to stand in front of her.

"Now, what's the matter?" she asked as she avoided his eyes, choosing to straighten his collar instead. She barely reached his chin, even in heels. "You don't need to answer me, I won't care. But really, you should tell someone what's bothering you if you'd seek Myrtle's company."

"How do you know that?" he managed, his eyes fixed on her fingers as they smoothed out invisible wrinkles in his shirt. Her nails were painted a cheerful yellow.

"You're not the only one in this school with problems who seeks her out," she said, finally meeting his eyes. Her eyes were hazel. He'd never seen a pair of eyes exactly the same color of hers. They had a calm kindness to them that was completely unique and purely _her_.

"Why are you talking to me?" he demanded, coming to his senses and taking an abrupt step back from her. "I know you're with _Potter_," he spat, "so why are fraternizing with the _enemy_?"

"Life isn't always black and white, Draco Malfoy," she said with a wry smile. "Hufflepuffs know that better than any. You'd do well to remember that." She spun around, managing not to slip in the various puddles of water that covered the floor despite her ridiculously high heels, and made her way to the door and out into the hallway without once looking back at him.

XX

He didn't know why he returned there. It wasn't _safe_ there anymore; it wasn't _secret_ because she knew about it. Shortly after she had left and he had bolted back to his common room, he remembered her name. Susan Bones, in his year. Her grandparents had been killed by Death Eaters when they fought in the first war. She was on Potter's side, through and through. So why the hell did she want to talk to him? And why the hell did he want to talk to her?

It didn't take long for her to show up there. She was wearing a sweater this time as it had gotten colder in the castle but it did little to hide her figure along with a scarf that managed to clash horribly with it. She didn't speak to him when he walked in, merely raising and eyebrow. He responded with a shrug and moved to one of the walls, sliding down it to sit with his knees propped up and his arms draped over them. Without hesitating, she deftly unwrapped the scarf from around her neck and settled herself down next to him, keeping a safe foot between them. Just enough room for her to quickly get away, if she liked.

He would have done the same.

XX

It continued like this for months. They would just sit next to each other and every day, she would lessen the gap just a little bit until one day, she sat down with her thigh flush against his. He could practically hear her heart frantically beating in nervousness although she gave him the same level smile she always did and her eyes were filled with the same calm kindness. Her hands gave her away. They twisted in her lap as she chipped off the white polish on them.

He traced patterns in the dust on the floor by his shoe and before he could stop himself, he began to speak. "I'm failing," he whispered. "I'm failing at something I desperately want to fail but can't afford to fail."

She had stopped chipping at her nails, choosing instead to look at him solemnly. He continued.

"Have you ever faced an impossible choice? A choice between your family and your values?" He ran his hands through his hair and dropped his head between his knees. "I'm tired of it. I just want it to be over with. I just want someone to make the choice for me so I can move on with my damned life. Although… considering my options, I won't be able to move on no matter what I do." He laughed bitterly. "I used to think I had it made. I'm a Malfoy, I'm a Pureblood, and I'm rich. What else could I need?" He rolled his eyes. "Money isn't everything, but it makes life easier. Blood purity leaves me at the top of the food chain. If only it didn't come with this damned name."

"Sometimes you have to get your hands dirty," she said softly, resting one of her clean hands on his leg. She looked into his grey eyes earnestly. "As long as you live with no regrets, you're doing the right thing."

"What about…"

She cut him off. "I don't care about specifics. I don't care about consequences. For once, make a decision for yourself."

A strand of her red, red hair fell into her eyes and he reached up to push it out of the way. Her eyes. Even now, filled with a calm kindness. Those beautiful, hazel eyes. He moved forwards suddenly, cupping her cheek and pressing his lips against hers. Her eyes fluttered shut but he was still held in her spell as her lips moved against his and her hands wrapped themselves around his form. He pulled her closer; shocked she was actually kissing him back, but not one to question lady luck. He pulled away, gasping for breath, the taste of thyme from her lips lingering on his in a pleasant tingle.

Her eyes fluttered open and she pulled him back against her, her lips moving urgently as she pressed herself to him. He tangled his hands in her hair, wrestling it out of its plait so it rested in waves around her head. He pulled her ever closer, refusing to take another breath. His hand slipped down her form to cup her breast causing her to release a breathy moan. He moved his lips to her throat as his other hand skimmed even lower, teasing the hem of her skirt. She groaned as he littered butterfly kisses down her collarbone and grabbed at his shirt, trying to undo the buttons.

She pulled herself onto his lap, pressing her core against his hardness causing him to release a groan. His actions grew more desperate as he wrestled her sweater off of her form, followed quickly by her shirt. He cupped her once again over the lace of her bra and she moaned again, grinding herself down into him.

"More," she whispered into his ear, her hot breath causing him to shudder.

He moved his hands from her body so she could divest him of his shirt and quickly returned them to their previous position. He hissed as her hands moved to the zip of his trousers and before he could process her actions, she had shifted his boxers aside and gripped his length. He groaned and pulled her hands away, pulling her hips close once more so he could grind into her heat, only the thin barrier of her knickers between them.

She reached down and pushed the lacy material aside and he slid into her wetness with a moan. She trembled in his arms and he started to move, his length parting her wet heat causing her to hiss and throw back her head. He pushed her back suddenly, rolling them over without ever breaking their connection so she rested on the floor and he hovered over. He resumed his movements then, her hips meeting his faster and faster. Her eyes had been closed tightly in ecstasy but one deep thrust caused them to flutter open in pleasure and hazel met grey.

He hissed and pounded into her faster and faster, his eyes not once leaving hers. She moaned loudly, her back arching and her walls fluttering around him and suddenly he was engulfed in a wet heat and he couldn't control himself as he groaned and released deep into her. He collapsed on top of her, rolling over slightly so as to not crush her tiny form, his arm draped around her in post coital bliss.

He couldn't stop his heart from swelling as she curled up against him. Even now, even after this, she wasn't disgusted by him.

Before he could stop himself, he was speaking. He had a habit of talking without a filter around her, it seemed. "I'm going to protect you. No matter who, no matter what, I'm going to protect you."

She looked up at him, her fingers tracing his jawline. For once, he could see emotion in her normally calm, hazel eyes. Sadness. "It's impossible," she whispered.

XX

She never brought up her doubts about him. Oh, he knew she had doubts about him. He could see it in her eyes, in the way she fiddled with her hands, in the way every day after they… after they made love? had sex? fucked? her nail polish was chipped even more.

He didn't have a name for it and neither did she so they simply didn't bother to label it. They weren't even friends, at least not in the public eye, and they didn't think it was worthless to overthink their situation.

XX

Even after the Death Eaters took over Hogwarts, she didn't leave him. She never questioned him. Oh, she fought the _other_ Death Eaters. She fought them loudly and violently and he could do nothing to keep her safe but she didn't expect him to do anything. And one day, she disappeared from the school but she still met him at their place and when she whispered in his ear that she was safe, he couldn't help but let out a sigh of relief and bury his face in her hair and simply hold her for the rest of the night. Somewhere along the way he began to think of her as more. He began to think of her as someone he could have a future with but that type of thinking wouldn't do at a time like this, when he failed his Lord and his family was held prisoner and his life was constantly in danger as well. He began to think of her as Susan. Susan Bones. Susan Ma–

He couldn't burden her with thoughts like that.

But sometimes, he wished her could see more than the calm kindness in her eyes. Sometimes, he wished he could see her true feelings for him.

XX

It was only during the final battle that he could do anything for her. After all, his love wasn't about loud and public declarations. It was about keeping her safe. And when she showed up during the battle, surrounded by her friends with tears streaming out of her eyes because their last hope was _dead_, he held back his disgust as he embraced the Dark Lord, keeping his eyes on her the entire time and trying to convey that he was doing all he could to protect her. But suddenly, everything was a blur and Potter was still alive and he was throwing hexes left and right and shields and he was following her just in case something, _anything_, went wrong. And then there was a jet of green light heading towards her. And all he could do was push her out of the way. Because his love for her wasn't strong enough to keep them both safe, he chose one of them. Her.

As he the green light engulfed him and his limbs went numb and the world slowed down and he fell to the ground, his eyes never left hers. The calm kindness was still there but now, a heart wrenching sorrow overshadowed it. Hazel and Grey. Grey and Hazel. Forever.

**XX**

_The 2012 Hogwarts Games Competition – Hurdles 2000 plus – My first attempt at writing smut_

_The Pairing Diversity Boot Camp – Draco/Susan – quail / s / ed_

_100 Different Pairings Competition – Draco/Susan – tired _

_100 Characters Competition – Susan Bones – fight_

_The Ultimate Death Eater Contest. Multiple Round Competition. Round 1 - __Lucius Malfoy or Draco Malfoy, 1- Love does not always mean loud public declarations, 2- Malfoys do not cry., 3- Money is not everything, but it certainly makes life easier., 4- Life is not always black and white., 5- Sometimes you have to get your hands dirty._

_The Impossible Love Challenge – Draco/Susan – "it's impossible", heart, thyme, scarf, dust_

_The School Subjects Competition - Potions_

Please, please, please, leave me some feedback. This was my first attempt at writing smut and… well, hit me with your worst! -braces herself-


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